SATEE'S DOUBT

“Atmaa twan Girijaa matih sahcharaah pranah shareeram griham
Pooja te vishayopbhograchanaa, nidraa samaadhisthitih.
Sanchaarah padayoh pradakshinvidhih stotraani sarwaa giro
Yadyatkarma karomi tattadakhilam Shambho tawaaraadhanam.”
Who does not know the grace of Adharan-Dharan? He is the first person of the world who gave gyaan (knowledge) to the world. The original alphabet of the world is Maaheshwar-Sootraani which is on the name of Lord Shiva (Maheshwar). It has come from Baabaa’s damroo (drum) while he was dancing Taandav-dance. Saints heard every letter of the alphabet in their meditation. They collected all forty nine letters. Latter Parini wrote sutras (formulae). These sutras are the root of Sanskrit grammar, SiddhaantKaumudi. Sages Kaatyaayani and Paatanjali explained the sutras.
Once, in Tretaa-Yug, Lord Shiva went to great sage Agastya. Maan Bhavaani (Sati) was also with him. Seeing The God of the whole world in his cottage, the sage adored Him. The sage told Shiva the story of Raam in detail. Maheshwar heard the story of his guru with great pleasure. The sage eagered to listen from Bholenaath about devotion. Seeing him the right person, Shiva explained devoutness before him. Bholenath passed somedays there enjoying the time in hearing and telling the stories of Dashrath-Nandan and then started to his abode Kailash with Satee. Those days, Lord Raam had taken birth in Raghukul as the son of king Dashrath. By the order of his father, he with his brother Lakshaman was wandering in Dandak forest in the outfit of a sage. Raavan had kidnapped his wife Seeta. Shivjee was eager to see his Lord Raam who had taken birth secretly. 'If he goes to Ayodhyaa, all will be acquainted with the divinity of Raam'. There was great disturbances in Shivjee’s heart but Sati didn’t know all these things. Bholenaath was feared of disclosure of Raam’s secrecy, but his eyes were very greedy to have a sight of his god.
Raavan had pleased Brahmaa by his penance and had wished to be killed by man. To make true the word of Brahmaa, Raam had taken birth in human form. Shiva was thinking that he would have to repent if he failed to have Raam’s vision but he was not finding solution. In the meantime, Raavan had kidnapped Sita with the help of Maareech, in the facade of a golden deer. Killing Maareech, when Raam came to the cottage with Lakshaman, he did not see Sita. He began to weep bitterly like ordinary man. He became very nervous and was wandering in the forest in search of Sita Like mad. He is asking trees, bushes, birds and animals miserably about the trace of Sita. Raam, who is far away from illusion, is showing the deep sorrow of separation. His character is peculiar and only gyaani (knower to God) can know this. Ordinary person thinks and behaves like himself in delusion and is trapped in doubt. In that very moment Bholenaath saw Raam from a distance. He saw him and became overwhelmed. He bowed and greeted before his guru in himself. Seeing the time not appropriate, he did not become familiar physically. Satee felt and marked all these activities of his husband. She was captured by Suspicion. ‘All creatures of the universe worship my husband and he is bowing before an ordinary person who is himself very pitiable and helpless. Raavan has kidnapped his wife and without doing anything, he is weeping bitterly like helpless. He cannot be God. Lord Vishnu is similar powerful and gyaani (knowledgeable) like Shiva. He cannot search his wife like an ignorant person’. Sati was totally in the grip of illusion. She was unable to think that Lord Vishnu was performing such type of act. ‘But Shiva is sarvagya (knower of everything). He cannot tell a lie’. This type of predicament trounced her. Though Sati didn’t disclose anything, the all knower Shiva knew everything. He forbade Sati to doubt about Raam. ‘He is none but Lord Himself. He is the very person whose story we have heard from Agastya and whose piety I have explained. Raam is the very person about whom we read in Vedas, Puranas and in all shastras. Lord has taken birth as the son of king Dasrath for the welfare of the devotees’. Shiva did all efforts but Sati’s doubt could not be removed. At last, he told to examine herself. ‘Till you come back, I am sitting under this banyan tree. You do as you like to do away with your doubt.’
Sati thought a plan to test. She went before them in the semblance of Sita. Lakshaman saw Sati in Sita’s facade. He became a bit doubtful why Sati was coming in Sita’s guise. He didn’t understand the matter. But Raam knew everything and thought to give her a surprise. He bowed and asked why she was alone and where Maheshwar was. Sati didn’t reply and became ashamed for her act. She turned back. In that direction she saw Raam, Sita and Lakshaman with all gods and sages serving them. She again turned towards another direction. The same scene was there also. Now in every direction, she saw the same scene. She sat down closing her eyes and remembering Shiva for help. When she opened her eyes, there was nothing there. She at once came to Shiva. When He asked about the test she told a lie. ‘I simply went there and came back. I didn’t examine him.’ But Shiva knew everything in perception. Now there became a big dilemma in Shivas mind. He treated Sita like mother. Sati had taken Sita’s appearance. It was impossible for him to continue the wife-husband relationship with Sati. Bhakti-Maarg (piety) was being disturbed. He resolved in the mind not to treat Sati as his wife. Sati marked the changes and her heart was full with remorse. They came to Kailash. Bhole went in long trance (samaadhi-deep long meditation). His meditation continued till eighty seven thousand years. For Sati, one moment became like years. When we are in sorrow, every second seems like years. Perversely in pleasure, years pass like moment. She meditated Raam and prayed to get rid of the sorrow and end of life.
Bhole started to recite Raam-naam. That meant the over of his meditation. In those days, Sati’s father Daksha was made head of prajaapatis by Brahmaa (the creator). His ego had reached climax. He started a jagya. All gods and sages were invited except Shiva. He had kept enmity with Shiva. Once, Shiva was attending a meeting at Brahmaajee’s residence. Daksha also reached there. All gods stood and greeted him. Shiva didn’t perform the formalities. The reason may be his bhang (noxious plant) or thinking no need of formality before too close like father, mother, father-in-law, mother-in-law or thinking himself the oldest of the universe (in this context, Daksha should bow) etc. Daksha felt insulted. He forgot the established superiority, divinity and highest power of Lord Shiva. He thought him simply Shivshakar, his son-in-law, a big drinker and leader of inferiors. Since that day, he began to hate and ignore Shiva. Gods, except Brahmaa, Vishnu and Shiva were going, by planes in the sky, to attend the yagya. Sati saw the planes and enquired about that. Shanakar described Daksha’s yagya. Hearing about the yagya at father’s residence, Sati willed to go there. Rudra forbade to go without invitation. But, when he saw her eagerness, sent her with some of his disciples. Sati went there but none greeted her except mother. Sisters laughed and father did not take notice. Sati saw that all gods were worshipped except Mahaadeo. She did not tolerate the dishonor of her husband. She committed suicide in the yogaagni (fire produced by self-yoga). Shiva’s disciples started to destroy the yagya, but Bhrigu saved it. When Shiva heard Sati’s death, his anger bursted. He sent Veerbhadra to punish Daksha. Veerbhadra destroyed the yagya, slew Daksha by cutting his head and punished the participating gods.